May is National Mental Health Awareness Month. Throughout this month, the team from the Aultman Medical Group (AMG) Behavioral Health and Counseling Center is sharing tips on improving our relationship with our minds and our emotions.

Today, Edward Dickerhoof, LPCC-S, shares three ways we can challenge and rework our usual thought patterns to improve our mental health.

Self-Esteem

There is only one person we know for sure we will spend the rest of our life with: ourselves. Yet for most of us, if we talked to our friends like we talk to ourselves, we would not have any friends.

I challenge you to “make friends” with yourself. Make that relationship good because all other relationships flow from it. Learn to be kind to yourself. If something is too brutal to say to a kind friend, don’t say it to yourself. Don’t put yourself down. Learn to trust yourself and to be considerate to yourself. As corny as it sounds, be your own best friend. It could change your life.

Living “As If”

We often live contingently – waiting for situations or other people to dictate our actions and emotions. Living “as if” is a good antidote. We can live out our day “as if” it is a wonderful day. We can live as if we have self-confidence or as if we have a good relationship instead of getting stuck.

What would change if we lived “as if I am good enough or capable enough?” Living as if we love our job, our family or our home may change us. It allows us to fully live instead of getting tangled up in doubts or fears. This strategy is not “faking it.” It is genuinely giving ourselves and our situation the benefit of the doubt – and often, this changes both us and our situation. Try this and watch how much things improve!

Collecting Positives

Most of us are excellent at collecting negatives: “You won’t believe my day. This happened and then that happened, and it has been one of those days!” Carrying those negatives doesn’t lead us to a good place mentally and emotionally.

What if, instead, we collected positives? Collect simple positives such as, “My car started today! I made someone smile! I really matter to someone! Traffic was good today! I work with great people! My shopping trip went efficiently!”

There are so many good things in each of our lives. Even on our worst days, multitudes of good things happen. You’ll be surprised at how collecting positives changes your perspective and your mood. It might also change your relationships because others enjoy your more positive outlook!